Your emotional attachment to a person as a result of affection, which is known as friendship, can sometimes experience conflict. When such a situation arises between you and your friend, or he or she hurts you, please don’t resent him or her. Resentment is a feeling of anger about a situation or action. When you hold a resentment towards another for hurting you on things said or done, you are bound to that person by an emotional link stronger than steel.
Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and set you free. Selwyn Hughes put it this way, “Resentment gives us a feeling of power of being in control, but it is like scratching ourselves. When we get an itch, the relief is pleasant but only an alternative to the irritation”. Resentment of hurt from a friend can cause physical illness and certainly tire you out. Selwyn Hughes cited the case of a missionary who returned home because of a mysterious illness which his doctor could not diagnose, “what my doctor did not know was that I was harboring a deep resentment against a colleague on the mission field. I came to a point when I couldn’t go on like this- the resentment was killing me, so I surrendered it to God and within days, I was well again.”
When Apostle Paul said in Ephesian 4:26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”, he recognized the fact that there are people and circumstances that will provoke you to anger or hurt. It’s a painful reality of life, but people very close to you will occasionally hurt you.
The Cure for Hurts
Apostle Peter asked the Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 18:21, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive up to seven times? Jesus said to him, “Do not say to you up to seven times but up to seventy times seven”. Now, seven times seven times is four hundred and ninety-nine times a day which implies that we should forgive and forget in totality. In Old Testament times, Lamech, a descendant of Cain in Genesis 4: 23-24, killed someone who offended him, and he said, “Adah and Zillah, listen to me; wives of Lamech, hear my words. I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for injuring me. If Cain is avenged seven times, then Lamech seventy-seven times.” What he was saying is, if you hurt me, I will hurt you not just once but seven times seven over. Which means the spirit of revenge is never satisfied.
As Apostle Peter asked the Lord Jesus the question, “How many times….? Seven times?” he thought he was being generous, but Jesus replied seventy times seven. Jesus Christ knew the scriptures well enough; He was doing away with the philosophy of Lamech. He was simply saying, Peter, you can follow in the footsteps of Lamech and retaliate or you can follow me and keep on extending forgiveness. Still speaking on forgiveness because that is the only way to restore a broken relationship, dwelling on what your friend did makes you miserable and not him or her. Boss Gass gave an illustration, “How heavy is a glass of water? Well, that depends on how long you have to carry it. A minute is not a problem and after an hour, your arm might ache. But before twenty-four hours, you’ll probably be in bad shape. In each instance, the glass weighs the same but the longer you carry it, the heavier it feels.” And it is the same with a grudge; it can get so heavy it stops you from living.
Has your friend hurt you? Acknowledge your anger, resentment, bitterness, and pain. Give up your revenge and ask Jesus to heal you. Call your friend and settle with him or her today.
