“Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.” Proverbs 10:12
- Question: If a husband and wife fight, who should apologize?
- Answer: The person who was wrong.
- Remarks: If you believe that answer, then you have just failed. The correct answer is this: the person who loves the most will apologize first.
One of the divine attributes of true love is that ‘Love never fails’ (1 Cor. 13:18). If you truly and honestly love your spouse, you will be determined to make your marriage work and no anti-marriage force can cut your marriage asunder. “Love is as strong as death.” ……. only death can break the power of love. Many waters cannot quench love……no matter how deep or turbulent the waters of tribulation and affliction are, they cannot drown love (Isaiah 43:2). Neither can the floods of crisis drown love…….no disaster or satanic storm can destroy true love.
Love cannot be bought. Love is unconditional and it is priceless, it is a gift from God. The love of God was shed into our hearts by the Holy Ghost (Romans 5:5). Pray to God to give you true love for your spouse. Ask the Lord to teach you how to truly love your spouse and meet his/her needs (emotional, financial, material, physical and spiritual). The true love you have for your spouse will cause you to continually intercede for him/her in prayer.
Preparation is key for a successful marriage. Those aiming for a God-centered home and a fulfilling marriage should familiarize themselves with essential insights that contribute to the foundation of a resilient marriage and a nurturing household.
What are the 12 Marriage Killers?
- Incompatibility: Amos 3:3 says, can two walk together except they be agreed? Inability to accept your wife or husband for who they are is a major marriage killer. Only God can change a person’s nature so focus on the areas of oneness and ignore the areas of division.
- Invitation of third Parties: Baby husbands and baby wives need a third-party to help settle their misunderstandings. Mature couples keep their arguments to themselves and settle their differences by prayer and dialogue.
- Selfishness and Impatience: Couples who only put their selfish interest first and those who are impatient with each other’s weaknesses will experience bitterness and disappointment.
- Illusion: There is no perfect marriage so learn to drop illusions and face reality. A successful marriage is made up of mature spirit filled believers who have studied each other and are ready to make their marriage work.
- Poor understanding of roles in marriage: Lack of the basic understanding of the purpose of marriage and the role each person is to play results in weak marriages.
- Bad Language: This includes screaming, shouting, and talking before thinking which leaves couples feeling emotionally wounded.
- Nagging: This can turn a home into hell on earth. Any husband or wife who practices this as a hobby will discover their partner will desire to keep away from them.
- Unfaithfulness: Keeping sexual partners outside the marriage is practiced by dissatisfied wives and husbands. This is a major cause of marital breakdown.
- Fighting: Marital boxing and marital wrestling are also commonplace and widely known as domestic violence or domestic abuse. When this takes place in a marriage it lays a foundation for bitterness, hate, cruelty, revenge, vindictiveness and much more.
- Fruitfulness: When a marriage is without a child this can add pressure to the relationship and could lead to the end of the marriage.
- Bad Foundation: Any marriage shaking today is most often due to a wrong foundation. For instance, if you marry for lust, money, beauty, handsomeness, prestige etc. these are bad and weak foundations to build a marriage on.
- Absence of Christ: Any marriage trying to succeed will face challenges. It is usually said that “the family that prays together stays together.” God is not pleased with Christian couples who do not pray together since prayer has the added advantage of bringing unity.
10 Things that weaken a marriage
- Expecting your partner to know what you need without telling him or her.
- Reminding your partner that you do not need them.
- Consultations and respect for outsiders than your partner.
- Resisting your partner’s physical attraction.
- Taking matters into your own hands.
- Insisting on having your way.
- Neglect of your physical appearance – hair, weight, dressing, and hygiene.
- Unforgiveness.
- Wrong associations that can influence negatively.
- Lack of Godly submission, leadership, and love.
The prayers below have been designed to lay the foundation of a successful Christian marriage. Pray them from a heart of true love.
Prayers
- Any verdict that I will not enjoy my marital life, break by the power in the blood of Jesus.
- The spirit of marriage destruction, release my marriage in Jesus name.
- Holy Spirit, teach my husband to love me the way Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it in Jesus name.
- Holy Spirit, help me to be submissive to my husband as it is fit in the Lord in Jesus name.
- Marital war, marital chaos, marital misunderstanding, marital confusion, marital disagreement, lose your grip on my marital life in Jesus name.
- The prince of peace will reign without hindrance in my marriage in Jesus name.
- I will receive the love and favor of my spouse in Jesus name.
Partly adapted from the sermon “The Home Under Fire” and the book ‘Payer Rain’ by Daniel Olukoya, General Overseer of MFM Worldwide.
