The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
I know of three people who were faced with sudden loss. The first person walked out of his twenty-year-old marriage leaving his wife and kids to pick up the broken pieces. The exit stunned Obi who didn’t believe his father would ever leave. The second person experienced the loss of her spouse to cancer, grappling with the harsh reality of losing a beloved partner. Izzy still hasn’t opened up to anyone since her father’s funeral. Lastly, the third person lost their job, facing the sudden disruption of their livelihood after being made redundant. Lola their daughter struggles daily with the change in lifestyle as all of a sudden, they can’t afford things anymore. In the face of life’s challenges, how do we manage to cope?
It’s okay to cry
I don’t believe shedding tears is a sign of weakness. In Joseph’s case, when he allowed his tears to flow, it signified that he had released the emotional burden of being betrayed by his brothers. Genesis 45:1-2 recounts the moment: Joseph could no longer control his emotions in front of everyone who was standing around him, so he cried out, ‘Have everyone leave me!’ No one else was there when Joseph told his brothers who he was. Then he broke down and wept. He wept so loudly the Egyptians could hear him, and word of it quickly carried to Pharaoh’s palace. Joseph had experienced the loss—of himself, his family, his freedom and much more. But after his brothers demonstrated their loyalty, he finally revealed his identity to them, and tears freely flowed. This release brought about healing, soothing all hearts. Crying to alleviate pain has a therapeutic effect and is far healthier than bottling up one’s feelings.
React like Job
Whether it’s divorce, separation, unemployment, or death, these events force us to acknowledge that life is inherently unpredictable. Let’s envision that fateful day of calamity akin to Job’s trials in the Bible. As described in Job 1:14-19, calamity befell him in rapid succession like a nightmare coming true in the daytime: A messenger came to Job and said, ‘the oxen were plowing, and the donkeys were grazing nearby when the Sabeans attacked and made off with them. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you’! There’s more to come, hang on….
While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived, reporting, ‘the fire of God fell from the heavens and consumed the sheep and servants. I alone have survived to bring you this news!’ As he continued, yet another messenger came, saying, ‘the Chaldeans, in three raiding parties, descended upon your camels and seized them. They slaughtered the servants, and I am the lone survivor tasked with informing you.’ And while he spoke, another messenger appeared, delivering the tragic news, ‘your sons and daughters were feasting at their eldest brother’s house when a fierce wind swept in from the desert, causing the house to collapse upon them. They perished, and I alone have survived to deliver this devastating message.’
Remarkably, when Job was struck by a barrage of bad news and misfortune, his response in verse 20 was, “at this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship.” When you find yourself at your lowest point, can you still find it within yourself to worship, to rejoice, to delve into God’s word? Or is it simpler to give in to cursing, complaining, blaming, wailing, and withdrawing from the world?
Who will stand by you?
During challenging moments, having steadfast friends who stand by you and provide a support system is invaluable. As I was reading the account of Jesus raising the dead son of the widow of Nain, verse 12 particularly resonated with me. “As he neared the town gate, a funeral procession caught Jesus’s attention—a widow mourning her only son, with a considerable crowd from the town accompanying her.” Her support system stemmed from the community she lived in. If you found yourself in need of support, who would stand by your side?
This poignant scene surely prompted Jesus to pause and contemplate: who is this woman that the entire town rallies around? Touched by the sight, verse 13 describes Jesus’s response: “when the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her, and he said, ‘don’t cry.’
Grief has an incredible way of revealing God's compassion, so rest assured that everything will eventually be alright.Connect with the comforting anointing
The comforting anointing is one that heals wounded emotions and mends broken hearts. I’ve discovered that this anointing is activated through engaging with anointed music, deep worship, unburdening one’s heart, meditation on powerful scriptures, immersing oneself in the Psalms, and completely surrendering the situation to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. When the comfort of God manifests, it brings a peace beyond understanding and a presence that soothes. Jesus spoke to his disciples about the comforter, and through the following scriptures, we can discern the identity of the comforter and understand his purpose on earth.
John 14:15-17: If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father and He will give you another Comforter to be with you forever – the Spirit of Truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him for he lives with you and will be in you.
John 14:25, 26: All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
John 15:26: When the Comforter comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me.
John 16:7,8: But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Comforter will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment….
John 16:13-15: But when he, the Spirit of Truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own, he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you.
Move on
Moving on does not mean pretending it never happened. Moving on means to continue in the face of difficulty. But how does one carry on when the familiar is no longer present? This calls for divine intervention. Drawing nearer to Jesus, studying the bible, and engaging with the community of believers provides solace and assistance during trying times. Likewise, taking a break and getting away from it all can also help with getting back on track. Reading books, magazines, and listening to podcasts about loss can provide further help as oftentimes they are based on the personal experience of others.
Remember that time heals because time helps us to cope so give yourself plenty of time. Don’t rush yourself and don’t allow others to rush you either. Lift your eyes to the hills, he who watches over Israel that neither sleeps nor slumbers is your great help (Psalm 121). Weeping may endure through the night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5). God will do a new thing; you will smile again.
If you are experiencing loss, here are some prayer points for you.
- Lord Jesus lay your hands on my heart and comfort me in Jesus name.
- The hand of God wipe away my tears in Jesus name.
- Holy Spirit let this cup of suffering pass over me in Jesus name.
- The comforting anointing put me back together in Jesus name.
- Father into your hands I commit myself. Let your perfect will be done in Jesus name.
May the Lord continue to comfort you in this time of need in Jesus name.
Want to share your own experience about loss? Leave us a comment below.
